Have your ever encountered a toxic person? Did you have the instinct to identify such a person or did it take time?
A Zen master points out 9 characteristics of a toxic person. The truth is, if you have a toxic person as one of your friends, you might have realized that he/she causes a negative vibe around you. The reason is, a toxic friend can bring out the negativity from you. That is why we have to remove them from the life.
However, if you wonder whether the people you encounter are toxic, here are 9 traits of a toxic person:
- This person thinks that the world revolves around him or her. As a result, this person might talk about him/herself rather listening to you.
- This person never admits a mistake or learns from a mistake.
- This person would exaggerate every teeny-tiny incident.
- He/she is manipulative.
- This person maintains relationships for attention.
- He/she thinks that the experience he/she has is superior to anyone else’s.
- This person always looks down upon on you and makes you have an inferiority complex.
- This person is compulsive and a liar.
- For him/her, it doesn’t matter about others’ feelings.
How to handle a toxic person?
What this Zen Master says is that we cannot change the others, but we can change ourselves. Therefore, rather than hating your toxic friend, first try to find the peace within yourself. Then you realize that there’s something wrong with this toxic person, not with you. When you improve your inner peace, you start to grow the empathy and compassion.
As a result, you learn that nobody can bring you down. With the peace and empathy, you mastered, you start to treat this person nicely even though he/she doesn’t deserve it. It’s hard to continue treating someone harshly when they treat you well. So, you are helping this person to get away from the negative, vicious thoughts he /she has and also, you are helping yourself as you forgive them.
This is what exactly Mahatma Gandhi did against the British regime; the non-violence movement. However, this is not easy as it sounds. We, humans are trained to react actively. So, it’s REALLY hard to keep your mouth shut or to resist your anger. But, as humans, we have to understand that the real competition is with us against us. So, if you want to change the world, first you have to be a ‘better man”. From this, the spiritual strength you gain is powerful because you have mastered an unshakable mind, which no one can alter.